Can non-birthing mothers breastfeed?

During the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras celebrations, conversations about diverse families often expand to include how parenting roles are shared.

One question that sometimes arises in lesbian families is whether the non-birthing mother can also breastfeed. The answer is yes — in many cases it is possible through a process known as induced lactation.

This is also how some formula feeding mums are able to start or recommence breastfeeding when formula factories close down due to unsanitary conditions. And how many recommenced breastfeeding during COVID.

Induced lactation means stimulating the breasts to produce milk even though the person has not been pregnant, or has not breastfed their baby for more than 3 weeks.

Lactation is controlled primarily by the hormones prolactin (which produces milk) and oxytocin (which releases it). While pregnancy naturally prepares the body for this process, milk production can also be triggered through hormonal support and regular breast stimulation.

Many families work with a lactation consultant to follow what is sometimes called the Newman–Goldfarb protocol, developed by lactation consultant Lenore Goldfarb and Canadian paediatrician Jack Newman.

The protocol typically involves a combination of hormones (to mimic pregnancy for non birthing mothers), medications that increase prolactin, and regular pumping before the baby arrives (for non birthing mums).

Once the baby is born, frequent breast stimulation is essential. Like all breastfeeding parents, milk production works on a supply-and-demand system.

The non-birthing mother may breastfeed the baby several times per day or use a breast pump to maintain stimulation. Some families use a supplemental nursing system, which allows a baby to receive additional milk (either expressed milk or donor milk) through a small tube while feeding at the breast.

This keeps the baby satisfied while encouraging milk production.

Not every non-birthing mother will produce a full milk supply, but many are able to produce some milk, which still provides immune factors and allows both parents to share the intimate experience of breastfeeding.

For many lesbian couples, shared breastfeeding is less about perfect milk volumes and more about shared caregiving and bonding. With the right support, both mothers can play an active role in nourishing their baby — turning feeding into a deeply collaborative part of early family life. 

And for mothers who have stopped breastfeeding for enough time for their milk to dry up (about three weeks), it is reassuring to know it is possible to re-lactate and resume breastfeeding.

This is not medical advice. For medical advice, please consult your health professional.